I’m not going to lie over this past year. I have learned a lot.
It’s been very rough as a 16 year old to see what life really is like, and it’s made me feel like I have failed. Ever since I went through my whole experience of chasing my basketball dream, it has only made my life harder and put me in a weird position.
It’s made me feel very exhausted, and it’s been very hard to keep motivated and to keep pushing on this path. I know deep down I want to keep pushing and trying. It just feels so hard on my body and my mind and even though as a person, I’ve grown and become better, I just feel very lost and don’t really know what to do next.
I just feel like I’ve let my parents down with the opportunity they gave me because I acted on my emotions. I know at this time it feels like the end, but in the future I know I’m going to get back on track and keep pushing to get to the life I want.
I’m so tired of being in pain, I just want to mask it because when I’m in pain, my parents are in pain. And I hate to see when they’re upset, because I know they work so hard for me and I feel like I’m being ungrateful.
All I really wanted was to be a very successful basketball player because who can blame me. In a kid’s eyes, growing up knowing what you want to do is amazing. So all you want to do is just keep working at it and wanting to become the best.
It’s just so hard when time after time, people just want you to fail, and at some point it really pushes you to the side where you want to give up. Even after the countless amount of hours you work into getting yourself better. It’s just sad and it puts me into an abyss.
You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.
What I’ve really learned is that life is about growing, and the thing is you can never always be satisfied, because that’s telling you that you aren’t growing. The rough and hard times are what make people become so successful, because you can’t learn without them.
I really just want my parents to know I care about them and I am really grateful for what they have done for me and my life.
I could have been living in a neighborhood where its not likely you will last a long life living there, but my parents worked so hard to keep me and my sister safe to live the life we live, especially as a person of color.
LOVE WHAT YOU DO. DO WHAT YOU LOVE
So I really do owe it to them in a big way which is why I want to be successful so bad. I have been hit with life at a very young age, which will help me become stronger in the end.
